Actually, it may not have been clear from what I said above, but the pic was up in his old apartment when he was living with xrm. (Thus my comments about it "falling down" all of the time--I think she was purposefully laying it down or something of the sort.)
To be honest, I don't know where the picture of xrm went.
I do know that he still has pics of xow (the one he had the PA with) undeveloped. H likes to dabble in photography, and has a decent camera, and takes tons of pictures.
I'm not certain he is aware of how much the thought of running across those pictures of xow terrifies me. At first, I asked him to get rid of them. I even considered taking all of the undeveloped stuff in myself, and then just getting rid of them without his knowledge...but I decided against that a long time ago (even before DB) and told H about the little fantasy. I even went through a period where I destroyed (with a lot of enthusiasm) everything from xow...papers with her phone number and e-mail...that sort of thing. I've asked him several times to get rid of those pics, and all he will say is "It's a part of my past, even if I don't like it, and I don't want to forget it."
I'm hoping when those pics are actually developed, he'll realize how much they impact me and get rid of them.
As for xrm...ick...there is stuff in my apartment that belongs to her. Stuff that accidentally got packed with his, like a CD and bathrobe. H has been planning to deliver them back to her for the last week--I asked him if I could throw them out, or if he wanted to give them back, and I haven't touched them since.
So...I guess I've done both. I've pushed, and it doesn't help. (Just made him feel "punished.") As much this sucks, I've pretty much let him know how I feel, and then left it up to him. You can't force that disconnect any fast than it's going to happen.
Have you tried different approaches with your W? If I'm mad, then H just shuts down and retreats. If I'm upset, H will pry and pry until I tell him what's wrong. And if I can get him to ask instead of volunteering, that's better, too. So is there a particular way that works better with your W?
Ever notice how, even for a little question, I tend to write a whole novel? LOL
