Never knew I was LD until I got married

[InherJourney]

HD...
You're getting it. I am starting to think of emotional fusion as a short circuit that goes haywire. You are inputting naughty puppy dog behavior and she automatically responds as mean, cold mommy. You have to break this connection and restart with firm, adult messages and not respond to her emotionally. I know you are doing all this, but you have to stand firm in the messages you are sending her because they will represent your most basic and fundamental wants/needs. You need to start with your most basic, immutable needs, those that can't be compromised, and believe in them, and forget about her response. It's what makes you YOU( and I know you're not really a hairdog)
J

[sat567]

You are inputting naughty puppy dog behavior and she automatically responds as mean, cold mommy.

Oy...I do sometimes feel like she's treating me like a child. And, although I used to lash back, and still do sometimes, I find myself being more comfortable just being cool and calm about it all. Now if I can just communicate clearly. I don't know if she'll ever 'get it,' but I have to do my best job letting her know where I stand. Thanks!

BTW, sorry Cinemanymph for highjacking your thread. It happens to the best of us.

Hairdog

[cinemanymph]

Thanks for weighing in on this one Corri. You're courageous for forging a path where many of us dare not go. The encouragement is much appreciated. I'll keep working on it and maybe someday I'll get to have the sex life that everyone talks about.
The image I have to get past is that of a grown man forcing his adult sized penis into me as a four year old child. I manage to get around it to ML with a minimum of discomfort. On the rare occasion I even manage to forget it altogether for the duration of ML. When I can erase that image for good, I suppose that I can begin to build a normal sex life for myself and my DH.
I apologize for the awkwardness of this passage, some things are difficult to put into words.

It's ok FurryK9, I understand, now give me my thread back !

[honeypot]

Nymph,
Are you really saying that your H has little sympathy for a disclosure like what you just wrote? What is his deal? No one can be that hostile.

That is awful, what you described. I want to cry for you and for all little girls who endured this or are enduring it today. My biggest wish for you is peace of mind; I'll be thinking of you.

Love,
Honey

[Bube]

I agree. Can Mr. Nymph really be so callous that he can dismiss something like that? That is unimaginably horrible. Both that such a thing happened and that he seems to disregard it and say it’s “your problem”.

(((((Nymph)))))

Wildebube

[annette]

((((Nymph))))

I agree with everyone here. Can he really be so insensitive???????????

Annette

[InherJourney]

Hi CN,
I am sitting here reading your post, in my anonymous cell miles away, and I am so enraged at the creep who did this to you I can't even tell you what I'd like to do.

Hugs to you,
Journey

[Bube]

I am sitting here reading your post, in my anonymous cell miles away, and I am so enraged at the creep who did this to you I can't even tell you what I'd like to do.

How about another anonymous cell miles away..., with a really big cellmate who thinks he's cute?

Wildebube

[cinemanymph]

I am reading your posts and weeping. Even the Cs that I made this disclosure to maintained (I suppose professional) distance. I wish my DH had had the cojones to get this mad about it.

Ironically, the man (my father) who abused me died of bladder cancer 3 years ago. It was a slow painful death. I watched him go from a strapping 6'3" 300 lb man to a gaunt 98 lbs just before he died. He suffered all sorts of pains and indignities.

(((((((()))))))s to all!!