So, instead of telling her "you make me feel like crap when you are essentially calling me selfish for not wanting to move" I should be saying, "I don't like it when you minimize my reasons. They are valid, and when you dismiss them in such a cavalier way, I don't like you very much. Why would I want to go through another move with someone I don't like very much."
Bingo!!! You hit the REAL issue right on the head.
Now, your other reasons for not moving are just as real. Your motivation to NOT move is strongly affected by the way you are feeling towards her. If you were blissfully loving her, you would move in a heartbeat. Not that you should use this information against her or to manipulate the sitch. But the real dynamics between you two can be addressed by using this situation. Leave sex completely out of the conversation and focus on the "real" issues. You are finally starting to see holes in her armor, and as you keep looking, you will start to form a different opinion of her...probably a negative one because she seems painfully insecure. It will give you the confidence to express yourself and talk from a position of strenght. *WE* know you have a better foundation than your W, you will need to see it too. I just think that her tactics are very tricky. You might D, but I'd use this time to learn as much about yourself as possible. Just my 2c. hairdog.
As far as the house is concerned...just keep telling her "it doesn't make sense" and stick to your guns. I guarantee she is going to say "then let's get a D". Then say, "if a house is that much more important than a family, then I really think a D is a good idea because I don't want to be married to someone with such shallow values and compulsive behaviors."
Again, just my 2c. I'm sure I'm about to get blasted by someone. I've been too preachy lately...I bet Corri is going to kick my ass or something.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
