I'm an HDH who has struggled with climax-related issues with my LDW - namely, she's NEVER had one. Ever. She, and several counselors we've talked to about it, have all said that my putting pressure on her made it even more difficult for her to achieve. Of course, her definition of "pressure" was basically just me bringing up the issue every year or two and saying it would make sex much more exciting for me if she had them, but whatever, the point is she felt it.
In any case, it sounds like he is putting quite a bit of pressure on you in that area. While I won't even speculate on what's triggering your depression after you climax, it certainly doesn't sound like what he's doing is helping your sex life. It's definitely something I've struggled with a great deal. I've learned to let go, well, to the extent that I haven't even brought it up with her in years, I have. In my own mind I still struggle with it quite a bit. I can't say it's made a positive difference, but I'm sure if I hadn't things would be worse.
