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this may be kind of tough....I'm only at 65 on my list of 101 things and I'm drawing a blank...and I checked for love quotes and poem ideas on the net, and a couple of thoughts hit me....they are so "sappy" or "sacharine" they make me want to barf, (Ogden Nash would be one of my favorite poets, so I run along those lines) and I think, from the notes and emails I've read, OW has copied some or at least "borrowed" heavily (extremely heavily" from them....oh well...I'll figure something out....


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This thread will probably lock soon, I guess I should start a new one, but I always feel like I loose my train of thought for a while when I do...
H stopped by my office to pick up S on the way home...seemed rushed....always makes me ASSume he's in a hurry to get home and call OW...probably is...

The fear is still gone, I hope it never comes back, but it is still hard for me to have to gear myself up to go home on Thursdays and hear from S about the phone calls. And they get S down. He needs someone he can mention them to. It's also really hard to go to the basement library/computer room where I know H has his phone cards/ow stuff. I think I will ask him to move the computer to the family room. It doesnt make me as frantic as it used to, but it is still hard. H asked me what time I would be home to night, and I played it cool, I'm so used to telling him everything w/o thinking about it.....tonight I just said I wasnt sure, I had a lot to get done....I think I'm going to leave early and surprise him! I've seen him get shook when he's been on the phone and I came in.
Dang I just wish he'd end this....He said at vacation time it was "in it's death throes".....it's way past time to put "IT" out of it's misery!
One good thing, H talked to a former co-worker and his wife who both work now where H interviewed, although in different towns, and they both said his interview sounded really positive, that when this organization wants a person they will make sure they have a position for them, and to be patient....they feel sure it will come through.....I'm hoping it will help him "break away" from OW, although who knows, she might follow him....


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debcb Offline OP
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something I wanted to post before I forget: last Saturday when H got home from work and acted "weird/sad" and was talking about my old boyfriends, I went to him, kind of knelt in front of him and hugged him with my cheek (face!) against his and said "I always believed we were meant to be together" I wasnt looking at H, but I believe he was almost crying and nodded his head.


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I've also been going to post this from vacation:
The night we had our "tearful discussion" while we were out of state, H talked about D, how much he was missing her and how he had for a long time, that "she was always my little girl and then when she was a teenager she didnt want anything to do with me except when we were out here. Then she was my hiking buddy and we could spend all kinds of time together and talk like we had when she was little. Now even that's gone". H cried and sobbed his heart out so much I even felt sorry for him. MIL has said all along she believes H missing D since she went away to college is part of this. Sound like MLC stuff to anyone? Do you think it would be of any help to do a time line on the MLC forum? has anyone done this?


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OK, breathe in, breathe out....relax, get centered, get brave and happy, act as if, go home and see what's going on.........


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I did get my list up to 75 though, maybe I'll think of more tonight....


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Hi Deb - Your anxiety is so palpable, I can feel it across the ocean Let it go. Imagine a life without H, and how you will cope. And you will, right? So, now, should the worst happen, you'll be ok, right?

Isn't everything else better? He is at home, and loving. Let the rest go. Be kind to yourself, sweetie. Slowly


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Good Morning all, I guess it's time to move this conversation (or my anxious questions might be more accurate) so it doesnt get locked and lost....so, here's the link to my new thread:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=748615&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=31&fpart=1

Please come share your input and insights with me there....I need your guidance now more than ever.


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Title of new thread is "Red Hot Momma--STILL seeking and Questioning"

I know, not the greatest, but hey it's Friday and my brain is not all here!


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