I don't know which feeds the crazymaker more, when H is cheerful and in a good mood, or when he's withdrawn or sad or grumpy....
last night and this morning, H has been really cheerful and happy. It's nice, but I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and wondering "why" the change in his demeanor...
to recap....yesterday when H got home from work he was cheerful...we went out to do chores and I gave him a quick hug....we were hurrying, and so he wasn't real "amorous"...not distant, but not "into it"....I said "oh, H, do you mean you get tired of having a hot girl grabbing at you all the time...or older woman, I guess depending on how you look at it? (I'm 4 mos older)....he had started to turn away, but I saw the corners of his mouth twitch up in a grin....he just said "well, I don't know"....H walked for 2 hours, I did my tape and watered flowers and picked up the house. When he got home we sat and talked a while, went to bed about 9:30....H was "waiting" when I got to the bedroom....H was "horny"....frankly it was "sex" more than ML, which is ok....H "talked naughty", mentioned that maybe we should think about having sex 2X/day (???????!!!!!) and made a wierd comment afterwards that I've pondered all day. He said "all I ever wanted was to make you come...I didn't think you could" This is strange, because I've been able to have orgasms before....I don't know what to think about his comment, but it makes me wonder if sex -or rather lack there of- is a bigger issue than Mr. "It's not all about sex" wants to admit -or wants me to know. I dont know, it's just all so confusing.....
This morning H was cheerful, but I didn't "mush" all over him....told him last night was great, gave him a couple quick kisses, was cheerful/upbeat, but not real "romantic" or demonstrative....I sent H an email about 10 that just said I wanted him to know I was thinking of him and hoping he had a good day....I got one back about 11 that said "thanks, it's been really busy", and I havent heard another word from him......
I don't know what to think about his attitude, comments, behaviors....i know it can be an exercise in futility to try to figure it out, but I also feel like he's starting to be more open about what's deep in his "heart", and I don't want to miss his messages....any thoughts or input here, anyone?
