Quote: maybe my light bulb is being really slow to come on
It looks to me like you're "seeing" everything just fine. In my opinion this is the kind of "stuff" you want to take slow...so you can observe/evaluate response.
Quote: I think I got a really positive response to my email, and H said before he liked emails and that the "love notes" helped....I've backed off when his OW contact picked back up....but maybe I shouldn't back off
"Keep" what you get a positive response on .. try not to repeat anything that you get a negative response on. It's sounding like you're figuring it out ... slow but sure!! (which is the pace you WANT to move on these things..)
... Again , it is a slow process, but you ARE doing it!!
