Thanks, BnB & TC, this helps a lot....I get so confused because just as you say, it seems that he "peeks out" and then steps back and then "peeks out" and steps back...again and again and again...at least it has seemed this way to me, although I've had trouble describing it as aptly as you just did....it helps to know this is pretty common...I read the same thing posted by psluke on Pamila's thread....I have a sense that he come out a little further and steps back a little less far each time...I hope that is accurate...

I don't know, sometimes he is so tender and sweet and I hear the laughter in his voice, and see a loving twinkle in his eye when he looks at me, and then in what seems like the blink of an eye he is abrupt and emotionally distant and I have done absolutely nothing different (I've become convinced that these episodes are not from anything i did or didnt do; there are some things that happen because of what I did/didn't do, but they are usually "big" "falling out" types of things, and I'm learning to avoid bringing those on...
I guess I am also learning the best way to handle these, which seems to be to ignore them and keep being warm and friendly but not "overly" friendly...

I can see that I've changed, a lot in a short time, actually. I think I'm more easy going, more fun, less of a worry wart, much more interested in the sensual side of life, and tuned into it and enjoying it more much more forgiving, more interested in figuring out how to relate to him in a way that meets his needs....
But I am not afraid....still sad at the possibility of having to live my life with out him, but not afraid. Tired, but not blown away, if that makes sense....frustrated and short on patience, but not ready to throw in the towel (strangle him maybe, but not throw in the towel).
I'm very tuned into look for ways to crawl out of and stay out of the predictable "rut" that we let our life become....bleh....I gotta get that overturned, that is slow going....
So, yeah, I guess personally I've come a long long way....

I need to really get to work on weight loss again...I havent gained any back, but it has sure slowed down, and I have a long way to go.....

been around awhile!