Ellie, if you read this, I'm curious to know, did you experience your H doing a retreat back to A/Ow after he told you it had ended? or have you seen anyone else have this happen?
I've analyzed and over-analyzed the sitch, and I can't see that I did anything to cause him to run back....I listened a lot, didnt pressure, have to admit I was more than excited!...but I am puzzled by this. My instincts tell me it was fear on his part, and that she is manipulating, issueing ultimatums, etc.....I try to just stay "steady" (keep trying to visualize the northern star) and calm....
on the 5th of June, H came home from work (AKA OW) and came downstairs from changing clothes wearing his wedding ring for the 1st time in a year. I noticed right away, but "said not a word"....in about 1/2 an hour he came to me and "waved" it in my face, said everything was over, he had realized I was the one he loved and someone else realized it too, that he couldnt imagine his life with out me, that he would never leave, that he figure if he put as much effort into our R as he did the other one, we could really go somewhere, told me I was an incredible person, thanks for never giving up, kissed my hand, held me and cried all night, asked me to hold him several time over that weekend, talked about not being able to trust her, how angyr she gets at him and he cant' live with that, how she says she loves him but there are always conditions attached, ....that he want to dance with me.....and then, three days later is back to calling her all the time, I'm sure going to see her, and on and on.......This back and forth stuff is just so hard for me to comprehend....but I'm thinking some other folks have had this happen? they've broken up several times before, and when they get back together I always sense him pulling away from me emotionally, this time I don't sense him pulling as far away, and I even sense him coming back again (emotionally, physically the goofy guy never left).....just weird, and I see you as someone who managed to wade through all this muck and come out on the other side, so really value your experience/views.......
I could give him an ultimatum, have considered it, many times, I don't think I'm afraid to, I just don't think it would work well because he is still so rebellious, he might do just the opposite just to prove that he can....HB mentions in her post that God will speak to a person and tell you what to do and how to do it....I feel like he's saying "keep loving him".........
