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I remember when we had the "blow up" on vacation and H said "you HAD this won, now I don't know"...



Don't let him get to you on this. HE is the one who fooled around on you, you have done nothing wrong.

I agree about not initiating any intimacy. Get a toy if you need to - I know it's not the same, but it will get the job done. Your H might even get turned on by that.

You can't trust your H completely right now and he has no right to expect that you will. He has to EARN your trust.

I also find it interesting...he goes out for a few hours, but when you've done the same, hasn't he gotten upset?

My BF seems to understand now why I don't fully trust him. I try, but he really betrayed my trust before. I think he gets that now, though he didn't understand it last year. I think it takes time and perspective to finally "get it". I was married for about 15 years, and after a year of counseling, my H and I separated and I eventually started seeing BF. I was wrong in doing so before divorced, I behaved badly and it took the break-up with BF early last year to finally get my head straight on that. I didn't know BF before I was separated, but it really hurt my H.

That is why I'm so against dating at all when only separated. But it did take me being free emotionally to finally REALLY break down and mourn the end of my M, and to write to my ex-H and apologize in a huge way for the part I played in it. If you move and are away from OW, he hopefully will have a new perspective.