I don't have much time to post as H is only gone for a bit and I am having wacky computer problems. UGH! Anyway, I hope you are still feeling that detachment. I know it feels strange but I also hope it feels empowering! It feels weird to us because of our long-term relationships and the co-dependence that we got too comfortable with. The hardest part for me was to detach WITH love and not anger. Detaching with anger was easy but it left me feeling....well, just more anger. When I detached with love it made me feel as if I was actually making strides towards healing our marriage...and myself.
I told H something a few nights ago that maybe could be seen as bad BDing but it actually turned in my favor. He was in his "teen" years and not helping me with major things around the house. (I am talking hard physical labor...trees down, etc.) But he didn't have any problem helping his nephew at his home. I was at my boiling point. I decided to have a talk with him about it. Well, my talking went over like a ton of bricks. He became sullen and uncommunicative. I could almost hear those teen wheels turning, thinking, "I could pack my bags and be away from this nag". So I told him in a very quiet and controlled voice that I wanted him to know that the threat of him leaving me did not bother me like it used to. The air kind of crackled at that moment. HA
So I feel a little change, maybe a little shift in power? Who knows. Maybe I am just feeling my own power? Either way I am glad that I said it. I am glad that he knows.
I don't know if this helps you with your situation. I guess the message I wanted to give you boils down to this....don't be afraid. You are a wonderful woman and your husband should count his lucky stars that you are in his life. Don't be afraid to show him this through your actions.
