Mike, The only thing that was jumping out at me (and boy did it jump) was the idea that she has to show some change before you will show her love, in her way.
I think the essence of PM is that you state your needs and then back off and be a stellar spouse and give them room to meet them. Demanding that your needs be met and then sitting back and waiting for the person to either knock your socks off or totally disappoint you will be a losing battle. (I have lost this battle personally, so I believe I know whereof I speak)
My advice is to be loving and kind to her while still maintaining what you will and will not accept from your sex life. I KNOW this is a hard line to walk..
She must feel your love and your acceptance of her willingness to change in order to be ABLE to change.
In other words, stand your ground but don't be an azzhole about it.
Good luck and send Mrs. Fife my love and horniness (and I mean that sincerely! She sounds like a great wife)
