Thanks for all the posts! I'm open to everyone's idea/suggestion. I'm trying not to be pushy or hardlined about any issue. It may not come across here, but I'm pretty much OK with anything as long as we can discuss it. I'll gladly "trade" items on my list for something of equal "value" (like passion or desire).

I'd like to "publicly" commend my W for initiating "wake up" sex the last 2 mornings. Although disagreements kept us from completing sex both times, she deserves kudos for trying. I'm choosing to look at the effort more than the disagreements. (2 straight mornings of right-to-the-edge foreplay)

W seems to feel that I'm being hard on her. I don't doubt that she's right but it's not on purpose. I do, however, again have respect for myself sexually for the first time since we M. And however poorly I communicated, my unwillingness to violate my "integrity issues" any longer is the only reason that things are changing.

My primary goals:
1. Encourage W in the steps she's making
2. Try to undo the hurtful messages I've sent in the past due to sexual frustration, ignorance and immaturity

Thanks to everyone for info provided here. Even bad ideas have helped me form my own.

Mike - hopeful of a great sex life w/a wonderful W