Glad things seem to be working. I would take baby steps. I made the mistake of sharing my list of "key bahaviors" on the "Working on Desire" thread with my W a few weeks ago and she was pretty overwhelmed by it. But whether it was the right decision can only be known in the years ahead.
Also, my W specifically asked me to make a list when we first started this process. I wrote an incredibly detailed list of everything I wanted. What was funny was that my lack of sex made me want all sorts of stuff. It also was phrased with "you" all throughout it. It was like a recipe for a porn-star and inadvertently attacked her personality. Before I knew anything or knew whose info to trust, I used a list that was a collaboration between CeMar and Meatpuppet. This at least let me off the hook but it was still a stupid move because it spoke to the fact that the LDW has the 100% of the problem. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!!!!. The other problem was that I was "stupid horny" and wanted my W to be a swinging pornstar. Now that sex is fairly regular, I don't need all the stuff on my list. Sure it would be great to get a few extra gropes and to have a W who teases me with not underwear, but in the grand scheme, it comes down to bedroom time and initiation. Once they can get fairly good with that, then you will both feel more comfortable with the other things on the list.
BTW People: I provided the link for informational purposes only. If you want sex to get really bad, really fast, then share that with your spouse.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
