GEL - Wow, I've never turned her down before - even for mercy sex - and can't imagine how she would react. Part of me worries that she'd throw it in my face and say that I'm the one who turns her down (forgetting the 1000's of times she's turned me down), but on the other hand, it's not like things could possibly get any worse. And I can definitely relate to waiting for her to initiate. Given that I'm not expecting any dramatic changes during ML, I sometimes feel like the only remote sign of desire I can hope for is her initiating, even though most of our encounters feel like mercy sex anyway. So I avoid initiating myself and get depressed about it as well.
Well, maybe throwing her off balance could be a good thing too...
