I know that was true when my father died, so there's at least one bit of anecdotal to support that statement. Like you, I also felt a need for additional closeness from my W at that time. She didn’t provide it, and like you, I began to feel that I didn’t fancy her anymore either. In fact, that’s when we split – almost two years to the day after my father died. Just something to consider.
That's exactly why I raised the issue this year...because I wasn't getting the extra comfort from the R when my father was dying. This is typical. Remember the first leg (of 3) of differentiation is self-soothing. Unfortunately, the death of a family member is almost beyond anyone's ability to self-soothe. I had to pretend I was single and alone with the issue. I unloaded a big vat of tar on her when we got home from Texas because I was disappointed in her for the fact that I actually had to "pretend" to be single. Once I dumped it, I realized that my resentment went away. Poor thing....she has to deal with my insanity sometimes.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
