Quote: I have seen a doctor and am going to private counseling. I am taking Wellbutrin for depression; however, I don't think my despondency is chemical. I think it's situational, and until the situation changes, I think I will continue to feel depressed.
I hear ya on that! Last year, I was convinced that I was depressed because of a physical reason, so I had a complete physical + MRI of my brain. Nothing was abnormal (thankfully), and my doc. prescribed Lexapro for me. I took it for a few months, but my "depression" didn't get better. About all the Lexapro did was hinder my erections and stop me from crying (I couldn't physically cry, even if I was very upset). It was then that I realized that the "depression" was situational, and I embarked on my quest to change my SSM into a more open, loving, and caring R. Hopefully, my SSM will become a SFM (sex-full marriage!)... and hopefully yours will too! It takes work. Definitely read Michele's SSM book sometime soon.
Quote: Something must change. I believe in marriage as a life time committment, and I also believe in fidelity. However, I'm finding that a sexless/affectionless marriage is no marriage at all. I can't keep going on being sad, frustrated and hurt all the time.
Marriage w/o sex is just living together as friends. Ick!
I think you are on to something with the affection reference too. How are you with H on a daily basis? Do you kiss his cheek or shoulder or neck in passing? Do you pinch his butt or rub his shoulders randomly, for no reason? It sounds like he is a little cold in the affection area. You need to find something to melt that away.
Believe me, I know it's difficult... and I've been married for 12 years! Somewhere along the way, my W and I got trapped in the autopilot day-to-day routines and forgot to make time for us and the R. The past 3 years have been an "ice age," but now I'm melting the ice and trying to "get the fire going again."
I hope you remember why you married your H, and I hope he can agree to try something different with you. Good luck!
