I hope you do not have children yet! Children only complicate the issue further. You have serious issues to work out in your marriage before you can consider anything to do with children. I know, I too am in a SSM and I have 3 children, which really hampers my options. So avoid the children for now, work out the SSM problems or get divorced if he won't work on them. Just do not make the picture worse by including children in this mess.
