SD, you know your sitch better than I do, but it sounds to me like you missed an excellent chance not only to give her a bj, but also to f*ck her. Sounds to me like it would have benefitted both of you. The passionate kiss, the readiness... these are definite signs. Next time don't ask, just act!
Dave, Well you might not have used the most appropriate Schnarchian language but the point is that you really pushed her to examine herself and that is good. So far, she has REALLY been callin the shots.
My advice on the praise is to definitely do it but not overdo it. I usually say, "Thank you for all the efforts you've been making--I really appreciate it!" And then let it drop. Too much praise and they either feel like a dog getting a biscuit (which causes resentment understandably) or they think they've done SO well that they can now slack a bit. Walk that fine line.
You know, Dave, your wife sounds like a person who is hopelessly stuck in Dudsville but doesn't want to be. I think she beats herself up quite heavily for what she knows to be true--that she is a selfish and withholding lover. Just keep patiently working on her, do NOT stop talking about it whatever you do..this seems to be working, and keep the access open to those steamy "be a better lover" books. Women in general love reading sexy words!
I would normally suggest to write her some erotica of your own but I realize that I am giving advice from an HDW perspective and it prolly will not apply.
Congrats on all the nookie this weekend! You definitely have me beat...
Quote Tim "you missed an excellent chance not only to give her a bj, but also to f*ck her" Tim, I know you are right but to be honest after 5 minutes or so of concentrated blow I tend to lose my drive and am content to lie on her in the soggy patch for a while afterwards. It is best if I break off then do the f then finish up but last night it seemed safer to carry on. Also us men need foreplay on us too particularly as we are the wrong side of 45, right Tim? I need to work really hard to get that though!
It's good to hear progress from other HD who are "trying things." At least *someone* had intimacy this weekend. Too bad it wasn't me as well.
I think that a little praise is a good thing, but don't go overboard. A simple "last night was nice and I hope that we can have more of those" might be good. I'm not sure if "thank you" should enter into the equation.
SD, I'd say you had a wonderful night altogether. On the best of nights ML with my W, there was a fair amount of defenses that I had to overcome. Consider it as the fun of the chase!
I don't count an hour of high octane arguing "the fun of the chase" Paul! However I have thought about it today and I see some very positive signs. I will talk to her this evening and apologise for my drunken behaviour and tell her how much I appreciate the efforts she is making. SD Thanks for everything all of you.
SD diary. Incredibly we ML on Thursday which makes three times in one week. I should be happy about it but sadly the quality is seriously lacking. The first time (last Thursday), I took her all the way by bj and then couldn't raise anything of interest myself. The second time was great (albeit after a massive argument which curiously turned her on) but again I took her all the way and couldn't O myself. Thursday was disappointing because I approached her and she was OK about it. I warmed her up for a while then asked her to lie on top of me but she refused. I climbed on but I just couldn't get turned on enough and as she wasn't into it at all it just fizzled out. Afterwards she got cross because she thought it was Friday then realised it was only Thursday. We are on vacation for 2 weeks and there will be no chance of action which I think is probably a good thing. I have some serious relaxing to do because my expectations are too high for myself as well as her and I am just getting disappointed by our lack of connection. Anxiety levels are too high in other words. SD - See you in two weeks.
