Hairdog, Here's one that might appeal to your W if/when she gets back into the mood, "The Good Girls Guide to Bad Girl Sex" By Barbara Keesling. I've read some of her other books and she has good stuff.
Scott -Hoping things get better for Hairdog.
"Satisfaction is not guaranteed." Rule #19 Ferengi "Rules of Acquistition"
SD, Congrats to you, buddy! What a wonderful surprise..
You know, I know this means nothing to you but it still amazes me how LITTLE it takes to please an HD man. I mean, running your fingers on his forearm??!!
Would this do it for you every time, or are you saying that this feels so good and sounds so good because you are starved for her touch?
Just curious...it in no way affects my situation.
Btw, I touch my H all the time and he loves it. Physical touch is his love language also, but he prefers nonsexual touch mostly. I don't recall the last time he wore a long sleeved shirt though (he is hot blooded) but I will think of other ways to incorporate a "undressing him" approach into nonsexual touch. Thanks for the idea!
Quote: You know, I know this means nothing to you but it still amazes me how LITTLE it takes to please an HD man. I mean, running your fingers on his forearm??!!
This is exactly what I was thinking! It is quite depressing to contemplate that in order to get the same reaction out of my LDH I would probably have to simultaneously contort my body into an unnatural position for his viewing pleasure, use a blow-job method so novel that I could only obtain it by going downtown and paying a prostitute to share her expertise and talk so nasty that it would make Eminem blush.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Now, having read your wave thread, your post on my thread makes sense. Congrats for sure. I was worried about you with all the 5:00 A.M. postings. It must be Friday night about 11:00 right now in jolly old. Hope you are experiencing bliss!
Quote Paul: "Friday night about 11:00 right now in jolly old. Hope you are experiencing bliss!" Come on Paul, Twice in 2 days? I don't think so! You know what HD is like. Up one minute down the next 3 months. I'm hopeful but I'm too optimistic for my own good. Thanks, SD
Monday morning. Last night was interesting. After a really nice day we had our baths and went to bed and I reached over and gave her a hug and a little massage. I had had a glass of wine too many and admittedly I brushed across sensitive areas but I wasn't looking for anything really. Unfortunately she read me wrong and firmly pushed me away. There then followed a heated argument where I lost my carefully cultivated HOM and out came all my frustrations particularly about the fact that while I had given her loads of bjs she had never given me one or even touched me intimately. The argument lasted over an hour along the lines of SD "I'm trying everything to save our marriage and you're doing nothing". DW "I'm really trying hard and you give me no credit for anything". I must confess I said some really hurtful things which I regret such as accusing her of being frigid and treating me as if I'm no more than a paycheck. Eventually she started to cry and I softened and held her close and told her the nice things that I wanted to say before the argument started. I suddenly felt a wave of very strong love and gave her earlobe a playful nibble (something I have not done before). Unexpectedly she turned and kissed me quite passionately with her mouth open which she has not done for many years. Overcome with passion I moved my hand down and she kissed me again. I moved even further and found her to be really wet so I took a risk and asked her to lie on top of me (I still had my pajamas on so she was "safe". She was resistant but I said that I just wanted to feel her weight on my body so she did. It was lovely and I feel I need to explain why it is so significant. In the early days she used to be quite willing to be on top but back in 1981 just before we got married we saw a play on TV about a couple in a really scary relationship and one of the scenes was of them having sex with the woman on top. Now I don't know if that affected her badly but from that day on she has never lain on top of me. I gave her back and bottom a lovely massage and between her legs too. After a while I rolled her off and told her I was going to give her the best bj she had ever had. I did the very best I could and she did have a lovely O. She also carressed my back and sides with her hands just like she did for the first time last Thursday. Afterwards I held her and she had a little cry again and said that I had done that to her on purpose to make her feel bad that she would never give me a bj. I assured her that I did it because I love her and not to make her feel bad.
Now I am in two minds about this progress because... She does not like to be naked in my company (she always has her nighty on during sex). She told me she would never ever give me a bj or touch me intimately. Her instinctive reaction to my touch is rejection. It took a one hour heated argument to get her to display some real passion.
On the positive side there are some big steps forwards. She now seems to be able to say words that she has not used before such as "sex" and "blow job". She kissed me with her mouth open. She lay on top of me - something I really want to encourage. She put her hands on my body while I was down on her. She was able to have sex twice in three days.
Guys, do you think I should tell her how much I appreciate these positive steps tonight? Or is she exhausted by my nightly talking on the subject and should I wait until Friday?
Quote: Now I am in two minds about this progress because... She does not like to be naked in my company (she always has her nighty on during sex). She told me she would never ever give me a bj or touch me intimately. Her instinctive reaction to my touch is rejection. It took a one hour heated argument to get her to display some real passion.
I might not be the best person to give advice on these problems since getting my H to perform specific acts once he is in the mood has never been a problem. Has your W ever told you why she has such an aversion to giving head or exposing her body? I suppose according to PM you should not worry about why and just keep requesting that she do it. Eventually when you've become more successful in terms of frequency and overall passion and sexual communication, you could modify the examples given in PM to fit your situation. For instance, you could tell your W that you know a nice, attractive American woman who is obsessed with British garden writing and loves to give head. You could say "I wonder what the penalty would be if one were caught in an act of public indecency on the grounds of Sissinghurst?
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Dave, I think you should count your blessings. Gentle pressure is good, but after a point, they just start resenting it, I think. As for "praising" her for her progress, I know my W wouldn't care for it, but you're the one who knows your W best.
