HP, you provided a good example of the difference between "able" and "willing":
Quote: I made the usual suggestions (sometime whisper to me that you are anxious for the kids to go to bed so we can ML) and this was his response: First of all, that will never happen. I will never make sexual comments when my kids are awake; you can give up on that. Secondly, I will never do that because I am not like that. I don't talk like that and you can give up on that, too.
Mr. HP is simply unwilling to work on this. It's not an ability issue. An ability issue would be like, "I can't do the Trojan Horse position because my knees give out before the second phase of anterior pelvic flexion." So he can't do the Trojan Horse, and he never will be able to do it. But here, you are asking him to whisper something to you. WTF is wrong about whispering something to you when the kids are awake? Is it a sin? Thou shalt not express horniness when thy child is awake? Set reasonable goals for your spouses---whisper to me, try to show some enthusiasm, be courteous, listen to me. And expect them to meet those goals.
Sorry you are hurting so bad, HP. All this, and having to deal with an alien in your body, too. Hugs to you.
