SuperDave Diary Tuesday. Hi everyone, I have been lying low on the forum while I sorted myself out but I feel in the mood to post some more now. For the last couple of months I have been feeling great and it is not due to LM frequency which has been low. Until last Friday we had a gap of 8 weeks. In that time I have discovered self-validation and most of my happiness is due to that. I met up with some old friends and now spend Sunday mornings with them and my S11 standing in a field flying model aeroplanes. It sounds childish but you actually get a big adrenaline rush and it is good to talk technical with other like-minded guys. If you have a skill from childhood then whatever it is, you get huge self-satisfaction from rediscovering and using it again. My W is simply a wonderful woman and I look at her through different eyes now. I have gone from seriously depressed about our R to totally positive. I am not expecting frequent passionate LM and would be delighted by once a week if we can get there eventually. It’s just that I can now see the love in her eyes and I know that she is making efforts in her own way. For instance last Friday she told me her period was starting and as Friday is our night and it had been 8 weeks since last time I self soothed myself ready for bedtime. At bedtime I hugged her and told her that my love for her was as strong as it has ever been and that it was a pity she had a sore tummy because I had hoped we’d ML. To my astonishment and delight she said, “I haven’t actually started yet” – she initiated!!! She has not initiated for many many years and as we ML I was overwhelmed with love for her. Yesterday I had my vasectomy. While we were in the waiting room she had a smile flickering on her lips. I’m not sure whether it was because of my nerves or whether she is looking forward to a brighter future. When we first met she was on the pill and we had a great sex life. Perhaps she was remembering that… SD
