I think it is great that you sent him this note. It will. as you say, clarify any questions he may have about your absence. More importantly, it helps you move through this specific incident, making it clear that you took note that he was less than enthusiastic about your being present there.
Hold onto yourself through this, Azure. Do not roll over for H... at the same time I think this period in his life is fraught with confusion, pain..... and anger. He may feel sad about his brother but he may also be sitting on a ton of anger about his brother's death.
Detachment is a protective stance to take. You absolutely do not want to place yourself in line for his anger... AND you may want to figure out how to HAVE and release your own.
