Hi all, No, Ron, it doesn't have to do with the passing hope that he was coming over to call off the D, I really didn't give that much thought. It has to do with him only being a friend to me so he could reduce his support payments to me -- as in, you seem to be ok, and we're friends, so why the hell am I giving you money? This is one area where I wonder if DBing can backfire -- when they think you haven't really suffered or struggled or "clawed your way away from the rope," (Jenhoco), that maybe they haven't reeeaaaaally yanked the rug out from under your feet and left you not knowing what your future is, that maybe it's "OK" that they lied and deceived and cheated because you seem to be all right and seem to be wanting to have a friendship with them.
I was/am so floored and hurt by H spending a very nice couple of hours with me, and then writing me a resentful, horrid email the next morning, "why exactly am I giving you money?". He still has plenty to live a nice lifestyle, he's the one who chose to move into a very swanky neighborhood in the city.
Maybe there just are some WAs out there who really are only thinking of themselves. H's letter implied no respect for all I have done to try to handle this with grace and to remain friends with him. His second email ended with, "It will be a long time, Azure, before I bother you again." I wrote back, "Good. I'm amazed at your gall in pretending you cared about my friendship."
I spent the whole day crying. I haven't felt this bad about H in a long time. I blocked his emails from receiving them. I don't want to hear from him.
Obviously I will cut him slack for being under a tremendous amount of strain, but every time I've let him back in, he's done something to hurt me or that shows that primarily, he's looking out for Number 1.
