Hmmm...yes, it's not a feeling I get from Michelle's books at all -- they are very positive. And I am well aware that no one puts us 'one down' but ourselves. I confess! I do it! I take full responsibility!
And I definitely love the BB, it has TRULY, TRULY been a lifesaver in terms of support, guidance, growth, friendships. That's not really what I meant. Maybe I'm just starting to get vaguely interested in the rest of life again, and when I find myself preoccupied with H, it just seems like it has only led so far and no farther. And that's probably ok. I mean, it seems like he may well be a friend. But quite possibly no more than that. I guess it's like, how long can I continue to pour psychic energy into it? Am I making any sense? OK, let's try again, Azure. Yes, I am making myself feel 'one-down' when I spend a great deal of my time thinking about H and when there's no movement -- but I might be starting to get to the place where I'd rather think about things that tend to make me feel good, where there is . And I don't mean romantically (per se), but friendships, interests, adventures. See, I don't know if H is in MLC (in which case it could take years) or if he genuinely fell out of love with me, or maybe he just loves the beginnings of relationships, or -- who knows? Aye-yi-yi, I still don't know if I'm making sense... We'll see if it's a mood or if it's a general trend, anyway.
On the other hand, I've totally and utterly seen the benefits of DBing MYSELF! Yeah, baby, very much so.
Thanks, dear ones, for your support. I'll see if H invites me to the service. (Ron, I don't know if I'd have the b---s to go if not invited, but your encouragement makes me think about it).
