It’s kind of hard to know what to say to somebody you don’t know, but I want to encourage you to hang on. Since you’re here, I’m assuming that you value your M and want to try to save it. Sometimes that’s very hard. I think we’ve all been at that burned out, end-of-our-rope place with our own individual marriages. I’ve certainly had escape feelings more than once. There have been plenty of times when I’ve felt that it simply wasn’t worth the effort. But in the end, I know that I do love my W and that she loves me.
Having said that, there was a time that I moved out. On advice of the C who said that we needed to be apart. He told us that we had reached a point where all we were doing was irritating each other. He told us that separating would stop the little annoyances that were causing the constant acrimony and allow us to address the real problems. That worked for us. Mostly. As you know, she still wouldn’t address the (lack of) sex issue, but it did allow us to get to the point where we were ready to get back together and work on our problems together. Sex is still an issue, and most likely always will be, but our M is back on firm ground and I haven’t given up hope that the sex will get there.
I know that’s not much help, but it’s all I have right now. You have to evaluate for yourself whether or not it’s so bad that you need to get out – temporarily or permanently. All I can really offer is encouragement and prayers.
