Thanks Dave and J for your encouragement and listening.. Gosh.. I think the point I am getting to is I am so tired of trying and even when I do it seems to backfire on me.. I have been toying with the idea of maybe I can move out for awhile and see if we both do better or worse with that arrangment.. It's not like I (we) have money to throw around yet I am really wondering if that would give me some clarity but is that extreme? Sorry I feel like I am so depressing why would anyone want to listen to me.. I don't mean to be I just feel I have lost my umph if that's a word.. I feel I have tried so hard so long I am just tired and don't think it's helping anyway.. We are so diffrent.. He doesn't like to talk or share feelings if it can be swept under the rug "great".. With me it will stay with me until I talk about it and try to find a way to change things.. I don't want to make him miserable trying but I do deserve to be happy to.. What do you think??
