Cathy, I'm going to take a stab at this. One of my H's counselors told him long ago that she didn't want him to get to a place where he totally shut down his emotions. She knew if he didn't stay in therapy, he would do just that. I tend to think that is why my H can just ignore me, ow, sister, kids, etc. He had shut down emotionally. It's like a need to protect themselves from others hurt and rejection. Though I've seen glimmers of change. Could this be what is going on?
I do understand the ow's stalking doesn't help. But these are desparate times for her. Should he remain with you, changes are coming her way that she doesn't want to deal with. I've seen this first hand over the last month.
Take a break, keep dbing with your H. Reach for that detachment you had.
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
