I feel like all hell has broken lose in my life.

I don't know what's happening to me! OW sent a pizza to H's jobsite and H thought I sent it, even told our S that I sent it to him as he had it on the seat of his truck when he picked him up and when I got home from work I told H I didn't send it to him. This woman is NOT going away!! She's getting worse.

So then we got into a discussion, H wants to move out, been unhappy for the last two years, he should never have moved back home, said he wanted to give me a chance, blah, blah. I said some things I probably shouldn't have, that she was an adultress and didn't it bother him and he said no. I also told him he only gave me half a chance really, as OW has been like a ghost the whole time. I told him this is just wrong, it's not right the way things are, I feel like OW is invading our lives, my life and it's wrong, just wrong!

H said he told her he didn't want anything to do with her, to move on....I don't know how long ago this was, but that she wouldn't/won't leave him alone, she's like the plague, a fatal attraction he said.

I can't stop crying, I woke up and just cried deep, racking sobs from the bottom of my stomach, I can't get my emotions under control today.

I'm looking at these last few months, and thinking I've been fooled by what I've been seeing feeling from H. I know H said he wanted a D, said things last night, yet I don't quiet believe him, that he hasn't talked to OW about it and the biggee he hasn't stayed over with her for weeks, yet he's acting like there's nothing with us. Has no feelings for me, he's only there for S, yet why did I think things were turning around, getting a little better. What Happened and what's happening to me.

I can't see straight, can't see anything right now, I'm drowning in myself and can't seem to get a grip.

I've been praying, talking to the Lord, but I can't really hear him, my emotions are so loud and that's all I hear, I want this to be over, this pain, just everything. And if H moves out and we do D maybe I can find peace and happiness. I just don't know right now, I just don't know.

I'm taking a break from the BB I think, my mind is so confused, taking a break from it all.

Cathy