Hi Laurie,

I'm so glad you stopped by and thank you for your kind words.

This stuff is hard, it's really hard and I thought that yesterday was my breaking point. I WAS ready to throw in the towel and say enough is enough, I can not do this any longer, but once again there was a greater pull to keep pressing on.

No matter how many ways I look at my circumstances, the wench even being a part of these circumstances, that she had the nerve, to show up at an event that I was at with H and my S, well it's just wrong, plain and simple it's just wrong. What will she do next? Come knocking at my door ask to come in to talk to my H? W-THE!!! I never signed up for this cruise.

I know she's not entirely to blame, my H is obviously feeding her hope, leading her on, trying to be her friend, taking responsibility for her sadness/unhappiness becuase HE left HER...so they both have responsibility to end this, if it is what my H really wants to do. He/they started it and didn't ask for my advice so wench/H need to end it..before it's too late.

My H did come home last night, didn't call to let me know where he was, but showed about 9 pm, drunk. So many things were going through my mind before he came home. So many impulsive thoughts that I thankfully didn't act on. I was thinking I'd pay the wench a visit, and let her know what I thought of her, wanted to leave H voicemails, etc. but didn't.

H came in the door, I said "I wasn't expecting you to be here" tonight and he repeated it and then said "Oh" came over to me and gave me a drunken hug, I said I'm glad you're home and then H said "okay that's enough" which ended the hug.

When H gets in the mood of yesterday he has flashbacks to prebomb, to the way I WAS and throws it in my face, I need to remind H that I am no longer that person, she is gone, I don't know her anymore and she is not me today, so if he keeps looking at THE OLD ME then I can see why he thinks it's best to move on.

Positives:
He was with me and S all weekend, he related to me at the event, he stood by me, his friends stood by us and we DID have a good time which I pointed out to H, "H I had a good time" We spent all day Sunday together, H WAS dragging his feet about visiting the wench later that evening.
H came home to me last night and broke his three week record...we might be moving to four, but then againt the week isn't over.
H was drunk and came home to me...for some reason it doesn't sound like a positive..hmmm....well at least not on H's end, but H hasn't come home in that condition in MONTHS!

There was no "talk" last night, which I knew wouldn't materialize. H was all talk yesterday, looking for victims, and once he achieved his goal, to upset me..he was fine. At one point he did say "now you know what my life is like" WHAT-THE!!

So I'm pressing on, and looking forward not backwards.

Cathy