First and foremost, WE is me, S and H. Then he had second thoughts and said "I'm moving" he did it again yesterday. We cleaned out the garage and he said something about we're moving anyway. Then said I'm moving and I said we're going with, I'm going with, you can't go without us and he said "I'M moving" which are just words.
We went out in the boat yesterday late afternoon and he said something about moving to Tennessee and I said that would be okay with me, I have a very good friend there who's H is like my H, has a lot of his own interests. I then said something about working and H said "I'm not working" I'm fishing, I said well Tennessee is okay with me. I wasn't looking at him, but out of the corner of my eye thoguht I saw him look at me in amazement.
Our weekend was great, H fished, caught his limit, placed in the tourament, I was so happy for him. We hung around H for awhile Saturday after he was done fishing, S4 was being needy, at one point H told S4 to get away from him, so I took S4 and went to the car. I did this for H, it wasn't very nice of H, at least I didn't think, but realized that H just wanted to be there and talk to his fishing friends and not have to have S4 bugging him. S4 was being a pest, which he can be but then he is 4. At first I did take it personally "fine we'll just go over there and sit by ourselves" or maybe it was a pity party coming, but got over it fast. Put myself in H's shoes and wanted him to enjoy himself. A couple of H's work buddies even came which I think made H happy, too.
Saturday night around 8:30ish the room in our motel rings. I said "who would be calling here?" thinking it might be S20 and so H says "answer it" which I did and it was a hang up...hmmmm wonder who it was...
We got home about midmorning yesterday, worked on the garage, H got S4's fishing pole ready so that H could take him fishing. First we were going, then we weren't going, then we were going, then we weren't and finally, we went
We get out in the boat, H's cell phone is ringing, he grabs it looks a the number, throws it back in the dashdrawer. I'm just ASSuming it was you know who. Not to long after asked me what time it was, in looking back I think H was trying to put off as long as he could going to see OW.
We get back, get the boat in the garage, H comes in says to me "I have to leave for awhile" and I didn't say anything. Says to me at one point "do you know what my life's been like the last two years" and I say "I can only imagine" and then H heads out the door, I said "good luck" why did I say that anyway? Don't know why but it's what I said. H was going to see OW.
H is gone for a few hours, left at 7 back by 10, gets back, I'm in bed, the lights are off, H gets ready for bed, turning lights on in the bedroom, doing this doing that, comes to bed and goes to sleep. I didn't say a word to him.
Got up early this morning, same time H did and asked him if he slept well and he said no.
So what was up last night, I have no idea what was said or what happened. I never know to ask or not.
Got to not focus on the negatives--last night--but accentuate ALL the positives, all the steps closer.
One huge positive H came back last night, didn't take anything with him when he left to to OW. So we are making progress, little by little. This is just going to take awhile isn't it?!
We hung around H for awhile Saturday after he was done fishing, S4 was being needy, at one point H told S4 to get away from him, so I took S4 and went to the car. I did this for H, it wasn't very nice of H, at least I didn't think, but realized that H just wanted to be there and talk to his fishing friends and not have to have S4 bugging him. S4 was being a pest, which he can be but then he is 4. At first I did take it personally "fine we'll just go over there and sit by ourselves" or maybe it was a pity party coming, but got over it fast. Put myself in H's shoes and wanted him to enjoy himself. A couple of H's work buddies even came which I think made H happy, too. 
