Thanks for the idea, Pam also gave me kind of the same suggestion. I'm thinking and trying things on so to speak, to see what I feel comfortable doing/not doing.
Yesterday was a no contact day from H, he wouldn't answer his cell. S left a vm for him in the morning, I left a vm for H in the afternoon, H didn't come home right after work so ASSumed he will be no show. I must admit I was having some obsessive thoughts, due to PMS mainly I do know that, had to really fight my mind and get myself to the place of peace, which I did. Yeah me!
Went grocery shopping, took S4 to swim lessons, came home and played ball with S for awhile and came in the house. Right about then H showed up, looking tired and he was not in a sociable mood at all. He didn't speak to me a whole lot, he spent some time looking at his fishing maps and then took a shower with S and they went to bed.
So where he was or what was up I have no clue, but he did call this morning on my cell, I just handed it to S4 as I was getting ready to go to work.
I AM getting really good at letting go and focussing on me, my life and S4. I've been spending sooo much of my mental energy on H when these other areas need just as much attention as my R with H. Especially my S4, I am trying to interact with S4 differently as he does know how to "play me" and I need to let him know who the boss really is...ME. Ask S and he'll tell you different or his actions definitely say different..S4 and me ARE headed for a showdown at some point!
