Crazy stuff you're dealing with, girl! I'm glad you DID tell him you missed him. I was about to suggest that REGARDLESS of what you ASSume his response will be (and are correct say, 99% of the time) that's HIS end of the deal. Be real with YOUR emotions and feelings.
You missed him, say so. You want him around, say so. I LOVE that you told him his response was getting old!! So old in fact it needs to be RETIRED!!!
And all this "one of you needs to make a decision for me" bullsh!t...come on! Cath, do you NOT think OW has asked your H to leave you? Maybe a 100 times? Seems to me he's waiting for YOU to get fed up and kick his butt out for good, like that's what he deserves.
The fact that you, as of yet, haven't done so, is throwing him for a loop. He can't load it all on you, poor baby (read sarcasm there!).
So he's coming up this way bear hunting, huh? Does he have good life insurance? JK!!!
