I think H is going through a little depression, or maybe it's just more obvious this week. H can't sleep, last night he went to bed early said he didn't sleep well the night before. I asked if it was anxiety again? He said yes. I said try to focus on something else, I know all about anxiety. In thinking about this right now, why I did say focus on something else when I had no idea what his anxiety is from. This morning he was up even earlier and off to work. He took his boat with him as he's leaving right from work to go fishing. I woke up when he left and I started having anxiety thinking he was going to OW's to drop his boat off and then stay there tonight and leave in the morning. And now in the light of day so be it, there's nothing I can do about it anyway.
I called him on my way to work this morning to see if he had lunch, he said yes two bananas and apple, asked him if he wanted a sandwhich and would bring it out. H said no, that's all he wanted, he's trying to get into shape for his hunting trip this fall. My ulterior motive was to see if he had his boat with him at work.
I'm speculating, but it seems that his anxiety attacks are right after he's spent time with OW. Last week he had to run out at 10 pm "to do something" and came back but didn't sleep that night either, anxiety, H was up and off to work at 3 am that morning.
I asked him this morning if he slept when he gets to work that early and he said nope. So he's not getting a whole lot of sleep and I know after awhile that catches up to you and can also affect moods and how you react to things on a day to day basis. When well rested, at least I tend to find, things don't look so bad, I'm calm. If I lack sleep I'm edgy and a little overreactive.
Last night I asked H if he had talked to S20 and he said he tried to call him during the day, but he never called back. H said isn't that nice, you raise a kid and then this, can't even call. In my mind SS20 has been really good about spending time at our house, but H claims it's to see S4. SS IS 20 and keeps his phone off when he works and of course there are going to be times when his social life comes first as it should, he's 20!
