Quote: I'm thinking he needs some time... you just spent the whole weekend together. Let him swing out for a bit.
Yes we did spend the whole weekend together and why is it when he swings out he swing OW's way. Can't he stand the good time we had, that we can and do get along. Does he hate it that much that he has to run to OW to prove to himself he's this awful person. In looking back this is the pattern, we do something together have a good time and H swings out to OW. Maybe I need to get a life, back off and let H be, obviously the getting along is too much pressure for H!
Intuition says H is a no show tonight and I'm more than anything!
Quote: Intuition says H is a no show tonight and I'm more than anything!
How about a 180 here - don't expect him, and plan to do something else - if he does show up, whoa - what a surprise for him
Quote: Maybe I need to get a life, back off and let H be, obviously the getting along is too much pressure for H!
Yes, yes, yes. In the past 2 days, after the meltdown on Sunday, I've found lots of things to keep me busy, left it for 5 mins before responding to NG's IM messages - boy has he turned up the pursuit!
Well a "no show" and I'm just mad more than anything, mad that he doesn't care enough to call, mad that he drinks and then goes to OW's, that H isn't strong enough, man enough to just get rid of OW, mad that I'm in this situation. I want to be angry, I want to be mad about the unfairness of this whole situation, that I have to be compassionate, patient, loving and blah, blah when H doesn't know what the he!! he wants!
Oh "I'm still going back and forth until one of you gets sick of it" well I'm getting pretty darn sick of it
It' just makes me so darn mad and I don't know what to do with this anger right now!! I'm being swallowed up by my anger!!! and it's not a good feeling at all!!!
I need some big 180's here, I am no longer the victim, my H cannot blame me for anything anymore or take out anything on me or go way back and bring things up as excuses for his behavior NOW!
H hasn't drank/pd OW a visit for 20 days, almost three weeks! H is still making those baby steps In looking back over the last six months since H moved back things have slooowwwlllyyyy been improving My anger is melting out of me Dang when did I become this person who spends less time being angry/resentful and is now spending her time being happy and at peace. I think a BIG reason is becuase I have all you wonderful friends here on the BB who let me spew and vent and then make the see the other side. Which in the past I was never able to see. I have learned so much in the last year!
A huge positive for ME is that I am more of a "let's not react too soon, let's think about this" kind of person whereas as this time last year I was still over reacting to things I had no control over. or to things that ended up working out in the end and really DIDN'T affect me like I thought they would...hmmmm. the bounce back is so much quicker, too! I wonder if my H notices as he would never comment or mention it to me...I mean that would be a compliment wouldn't it. BUT, maybe he does in his own way...whatever that it is.
We have a mouse in our house and I had a trap set on the counter as this was where the majority of activity was, that I could tell anyway. The dang thing got into my purse the other night and ate my vitamins kept in a baggie Well last night S4 went into the kitchen, came back out by me and said he had moved it to the floor. I told him he shouldn't touch the trap, it might go off. Last night I'm laying in bed and I hear a "whap" and some scurring of feet. We got our mouse and my face lit up and I thought, we will be okay, S and I will be okay.
I had S4 call H this morning to ask H to pick him up from daycare and take him to swim lessons. S4 told H he got a mouse and I heard H telling S4 to have me take it outsdie and get rid of it, which I didn't do. Yuck! I have a meeting right after work and did mention it to H yesterday when I spoke with H on the phone. I'm thinking I might have a little ME time after the meeting, maybe take in a movie or just sit and meditate at a park.
Sometimes you just gots ta feel angry...And Cath, you have more than most to be legitimately P.O.'d about!
However I am happy to learn that your latest concerns re OW came to naught. My immediate thought re your H waking so early is that this is SOOOOO common in people who are depressed...and often guys who are depressed try to drink it away. (and long term drinking isn't exactly a protector from developing depression).
Of course, as always, just an observation.
I picked up a definite change of tone in your H's interactions on this thread vs three months ago (or whenever I was on last!)...it DOES sound positive, him noticing, him thanking you for your effort with his soggy sandwhich!
Honestly though, Cath, you must really love this guy...not sure I'd be where you are were I in your shoes (I might have killed him by now! JK!!)
Quote: Honestly though, Cath, you must really love this guy...not sure I'd be where you are were I in your shoes (I might have killed him by now! JK!!)
I must love him or maybe it's the nonstop rollercoaster/ride excitement that has been my life with H since the day I met him. I am a Gemini and we do like variety, must be the reason I have the job I do! It too is nonstop rollercoaster ride.
I'm happy you noticed his "tone" has changed since you last logged on. I think so too. In the years that I've known him he's really come a looong way.
When Pam and I were missing you this morning, I commented that you (and T2 god bless her) would have loved to get him in a dark alley. He's headed your way to bear hunt again in another month.
more than anything!
Slowly 
Well last night S4 went into the kitchen, came back out by me and said he had moved it to the floor. I told him he shouldn't touch the trap, it might go off. Last night I'm laying in bed and I hear a "whap" and some scurring of feet. We got our mouse and my face lit up and I thought, we will be okay, S and I will be okay.