I feel the same as you. I am at a frustrated point. If you have fixed your end to her satisfaction and things are not changing over a reasonable amount of time, then I could see some drastic measures being called for.
I am not recommending, but have read on different posts, how some guys in our situation have asked for a seperation and this has kick started their spouse into being serious about improving the M. Just like asking for a raise a twork, you better be prepared to be called on this. Sometimes spouses get the initial kick in the a** and the other spouse does not even have to move out. Other times the spouse agrees and then you are stuck moving out. This is perhaps the last thing to do. Notice I have said seperation and not divorce. Some situations call for this drastic measure. However, many groups will tell you how moving out is worse because when you are in the same house your spouse is forced to deal with things. The exception is when you are in the same house and the spouse still does not deal with things.
Hopefully you have not come to this seperation point yet. Othere things I have seen suggested are a complete 180 degree approach where you actually change how you act and/or are expected to act. This means everything with regards to your spouse. If you are the one always asking for sex - stop asking. If you always say "I love you" - stop. If you always give her a kiss in the mornings or evenings - stop. This is where you start doing things for you. Get back into shape, take up hobbies you always wanted to do but never had the time, spend more time with the kids, go out with friends. Eventually she will take notice. When she does, your actions will speak louder than your words are currently.
I am considering all of the possibilities at this point. I know I have to still work on me and prove to my W that I am better. If I do this and contribute to all of her emotional needs and she still does not have the consideration for me I will be trying drastic measures. I will not stay in a passive marriage feeling neglected forever.
