Sorry you've had a rough time, Lee. I don't blame you for feeling hopeless, as I've been there before, too. What can you possibly do when they refuse to talk to you? If you are truly ready to separate over this, go ahead. Just make sure you are willing to follow through, and that you are not suggesting it as a manipulation of her.
Also, you may want to get all your legal and financial ducks in a row before you walk out...or before you send her packing.
Sad for you, but sending messages of strength, too.
