Quote: L: I want you change something W: I don't want to change...YOU change Convo is basically over.
Sorry Dave, I can’t agree with you there. How about this:
L: I want you to change something (or preferably DO something for me). W: I don’t want to change… YOU change L: But W, this is something very important to me. Why are you so unwilling to do something to make me happier and to improve our M?
Doesn’t that get you to the same place? W may see asking her to do something different as an attack where a statement of what you want is just a statement, but in the end, either approach gets you to the same place. In either case it leads to the real question, which is why she is unwilling to ML with her H.
Quote: Sure, she could say something bitchy like "I don't care" but at least you will (still) have some material to work with.
I don’t know about Mrs. Lee, but MY W would respond to either scenario with silence. When confronted with anything she doesn’t want to deal with, she invariably responds by shutting down. EVERY time I have tried to talk to her about ANYTHING serious, sex, money, potential career changes, …, anything, she just clams up. Intellectually, I know better, but then I invariably keep talking, keep prodding, and keep trying to get some response out of her, but it never works. I need to just say my piece and drop it, but that’s really hard for me. But that’s not the point. The point is that she clams up and as you say, convo is basically over.
