I'm relieved that it all seems to be moving in the right direction, but also know NG well enough to expect some withdrawal as guilt surfaces. I just hope between us we can manage the next phase.
We had a brief chat about how he regretted the hurt all this has caused, and when I asked him if he regretted the affair, his response was he does not understand WHY the affair happened, and so how can he regret something he does not understand. Lots of analysis ahead.
Found this on Mooka's thread, by matilda, and I think it will be useful for me at some point
Quote: May I suggest an excellent book to aid in your reconcilliation and healing? It is titled, "How Can I Forgive You?", by Janis Abrahms Spring -- author of "After the Affair." It is the most interesting, logical, and easy to understand book I've read regarding forgiveness.
My H and I are almost two years into our healing. I put my own needs on hold while my H overcame his severe depression. I assumed that after he got his head together, we would work on my issues. That wasn't happening. My H simply wanted to "forget it." He didn't want to talk about it. His thinking was that by bringing up the past it would just serve to perpetuate bad feelings and recriminations. I couldn't get him to understand how important it was for MY healing for him to talk openly and honestly with me.
