Your goals look great. Letting yourself seek time with friends is essential. I know that I spent way too much time at home with my h in order to "control" though I couldn't ..his searches for other adventures. It is crazymaking really.
In the earlier discussion about what ow provides, you had spoken of the feeling he has in rescuing her. Perhaps you may want to revisit this theme and find ways to validate his competence and expertise where you find them. Not in a phoney way...but there is a man there that has some qualities you valued and respected. Just knowing you makes me think that NG must be special or you would not have chosen him. So, dig if need be...but find that guy again and let him know what you love about him.
In teaching, when dealing with underachievers, we were trained to ignore the negative behaviors and speak to the child you would have him/her become. So see him with fresh eyes.
Your new house seems like such a tremendous opportunity! NG and you seem to be connecting on so many great levels. How can the two of you "ritualize" the move in? Is that something you can see doing together?
Take paper write down old negative habits that YOU have....he does same for himself....and burn them b4 leaving old place... then write out how you want to connect with each other in the new place.
Or something more fun if you can think of it. I just really see the move as a big positive. Few of us get to create a new space that does not have all the energy and reminders from the past.
