I now know there is much more work to be done on ME, and that this is a tunnel with cheese worth spending my time and energy on
Here is my respon se to Betsey's 'trick' question on why I felt I needed mystery - quite an eye opener for me
Quote: Hi Betsey - Now you have made me think again, and these brain cells are just not liking all the hard work Quote: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
why is it necessary for more mystery? Is NG not responding to your changes? Or will it help you move past what is ailing you?
In most ways, NG has been awesome in his changes as a result of my changes; there is no question our R is much better that it ever was. However, he genuinely does not seem to see why his continued contact with OW is painful for me. Or perhaps more to the point, why he should maybe cease contact with OW, as he promised back in mid-March.
My reasoning is that he feels extremely confident that there is now no possibility of me risking our relationship, and that he will just continue to push the limits on what he can 'get away with'. This is of course MY reasoning.
And yes, personally, I do feel that in my best dbing efforts to create a safe environment for him, I seem to have somewhat misplaced my independence. Perhaps I could rephrase 'mystery' to 'having some personal time' - I do need some time to myself, which is a need that has been taking a back seat for the past 6 months
Do I think it will get me past what's ailing me? Aha, trick question. I've just fallen into the pattern of needing to DO SOMETHING. Oh dear. More lessons here.
