Quote: Lass, would the knowledge about how much your H was suffering have helped you overcome your LD when you were in that position?
Honey...Unfortunately I would have to say at that time my answer to that question definitely would have been no. Keep in mind though that my 1st husband was physically abusive...the 2nd an alcoholic (do we see a pattern here? LOL) I'm also a much different person now than I was then...I've grown quite a bit through those exprierences, learned what I do/don't want, what I will/won't put up with...and when I need to compromise.
Now when I did start dating a man who definitely wanted sex more than I did I had to re assess. I hated sex (so I thought) I went into that relationship with reservations in that area. It wasn't until I decided for myself to relax and try to overcome my own personal foibles and really try to enjoy myself that I could...up until that time it was as though I'd sort of mentally check out during sex. I didn't like it, so I just put up with it and waited for it to be over. I may have been there...but I really wasn't participating. It wasn't that I did that to intentionally hurt anyone either...it was just the easiest thing at the time to do....for me anyway. You know...now that I think about it (several years down the line) had I really made an effort in that area things may have been much different in my 2nd marriage. Hypothesizing here....my 2nd H's drinking got much worse the more I shut him out sexually...especially when I made him move out of the bedroom (which was about 9-mo before I left). I never made the connection then...but now I can definitely see how the two could become a vicious cycle...and we were both HORRIBLE at communication.
