Yes...the conversation which was one of many with this particular friend of mine...she's a typical girlfriend (we women share an awful lot of personal stuff at times). I guess I figured if this woman, who was really not much different than I was was having this great sex...what was stopping me from doing that? Was it the men I was with...or was it me? If it was the men I was with...then why was I gravitating towards these men? Everything I kept wondering always kept coming back to...ME. Therefore I rationalized the problem/solution lie in...ME.
So yes...I took on a falsly self-confident air for awhile...in most aspects of my life...including sex. What would I have to be in order to do the things I'd heard were so great in bed from my friends...the answer for me was I had to be more confident in my abilities. I had to stop being so self-concious that I'd freeze up and be too embarrassed to try things. Don't get me wrong...I'm still not the world's best at communicating what I want in the bedroom...but I'm now not afraid to try things on my spouse to see if he'll like them. I'm now not afraid to be creative...getting him over that hurdle now is the difficulty :-)
As to the guy who initially helped me...yes, the fact that he was patient and gentle really helped. Patient was really the key. I still felt like a bumbling fool at times...but eventually I got past that...and that's where the "Just do it" comes in.
LD people need to realize that changing from LD to HD isn't easy...it will take time...most of all it will take effort...and if they love their partner that effort is so worth it. However, if the LD partner isn't willing to make that change then the HD partner has a long road ahead of them. For as we all know, you can't change someone...they have to want to make that change themself...the only thing you can change is you.
