That's unfortunate...I used to not like it myself...until I was finally able to let go. You would be so surprised how many men/women are just not able to let loose in the bedroom. I know I used to feel sooo stupid/awkward at anything I'd try in the bedroom...if I was requested to give fellatio for example...I was so preoccupied with the fact that I looked stupid, or maybe I wasn't doing it correctly that I couldn't actually get into it enjoy it.
And actually asking for something I would like to have done to/for me...was completely out of the question at that time as well. I may think it in my head...but couldn't get it to come out my lips. So I know I was the partner that just laid there...waiting for him to finish...hoping it would be over as quickly as possible. That really had to make my H feel great too. Not that my 1st H cared, but I'm sure my 2nd did. As you guys know all too well (and some of us women too) it's no fun having a partner that doesn't participate...they just go through the motions to get it over with.
Because I couldn't get past that stupid/awkward/self-conscious feeling I couldn't enjoy sex. Therefore it made it so easy for me to not want/or think about it.
I just have to wonder if some of the LDW out there aren't going through that exact same thing. I happened to be able to get past that on my own...I guess you could say I had an epiphany of sorts. But most people don't have an anvil drop on their heads that make them go "DOH!"
The hard thing with people like that (myself included) is finding out whether they really want to make the change...do they think the relationship is worth it? Are you worth it? Or more importantly (in my mind) is...do they think they are worth it? They are missing out on one of the most rewarding parts of a loving relationship, something that can only be shared between two people (normally anyway). It's something that doesn't include the children, or in-laws...that's why it's intimate. In order to allow yourself to be intimate you have to place value on both your partner....and yourself.
Just my humble little ole opinion....yet again :-)
