HOW TO REBUILD TRUST

1. Make a decision to love by trying to let go of the past. Stop obsessing about it.

2. Decide to forgive or be forgiven.

3. Show that the errant behavior is gone by changing behaviors. That means no more secrets.

4. Together, set specific goals.

5. Both of you must renew your commitment to your marriage and one another.

6. The wounded spouse must share their pain. The other must acknowledge the hurt caused by the devastating experience.

7. Listen completely to one another and with your heart, not just your head.

8. Be honest.

9. Avoid using words that can trigger conflict. Use non-blaming "I" statements and don't say always, must, never or should.

10. Take responsibility for your own actions and decisions.

11. Be open to seeking counseling to have a better insight into what caused the trust to be broken.

12. Remind one another that you each deserve open and honest answers to your questions about the affair or betrayal.

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