I havent posted since Sept but have been lurking often. H and I have been working on M and things have been getting better and better with a few backslides as a result of OW calling or H calling OW. A breif recap- H had EA which turned PA with a women he works with. It is a small office with 4 people. H never wanted D from the day he left and after 6 months came home to work on M. Took several months of alot of ups and downs and not sures. I am working on my thought processing on a daily basis now as opposed to what was an hourly basis. Our R is much more natural now and while nothing is ever for certain I beleive we are going to make it. Our boys age 17 and 10 seem so much happier now. I didnt realize how much this marriage was lacking over the last few years and how we were both on automatic pilot. While I would never wish a separation or A on any couple I do know that the short term break of our M made us both realize how much we want to be married. I still struggle with the fact he works with the OW but I have decided if he wanted to cheat with her it wouldnt matter if they worked together or not. His job and career has finally progressed to a point he is happy and if I was to force him to leave he would only resent it. This past weekend was the company Christmas Party and two weeks ago that was a point of stress for both of us. H procrastinated telling me about it and mentioned it in passing. I calmly asked if "WE" were going. He knew there was no other option. He said wont that be uncomfortable and I said perhaps but we would have to face it eventually. Not the answer he wanted to hear although he knew I would never live with him going without me. OW is single. Come to find out they (H and OW) had discussed it when invite came and she said she would not go if we went. So I said what is the problem. Well you see my H is a very kind and passionate man and only human. I think he felt very bad OW wasnt going. I of course could care less but bit my tongue on this one. Anyway after several tense days I decided to drop the subject and since were going I was not going to talk about it etc etc. As the day of the event came closer H started talking more about it and being relaxed. We went and had a great time. I made sure I looked so fantastic that the next day I would surely be mentioned. I have know idea if it was talked about in the office but I am confident the party was discussed before and after. Although this may have been uncomfortable for H I really dont care and certainly hope OW felt bad. It gives me a tiny bit of satisfaction for all I have had to deal with. Couple and group pictures were taken at the event and I cant wait for them to be circulated to the different offices. I told H I had fun and acted as if there was not an issue with the work situation. I decided as long as H is showing me the committment and things are good here then I have to stop thinking and worrying about it and move on and live as if everything is going to be ok. I think everyday he leaves that office and comes home to me. Sure he probably still has some feelings for her and they would probably fade alot faster if he didnt work with her but it is what it is and I am dealing with it. So with lots of hard work,patience and continuation of both I think we are going to make it. The DB'ing most definetly works. I was fortunate and one year later seem to be on a better path.
