MC was extremely difficult but a good thing, I think. The issue for H is major depression. The issue for me is to take better care of both of us. I need to stop expressing blame (even in the most gentle, implied form) and simultaneously make it clear I won't be mistreated. That's my plan!
As for you and H and OW, yeah, that sounds really hard. Of course you feel traumatized by the whole thing and by continued contact. On the other hand, it may take awhile to warm things up to the point that H recognizes that and wants to make changes. I see my current mode (as the Giver to his Taker) as temporary. Ultimately it would have to be more mutual--though we can always be the one to start doing good. Right now, he can't handle the guilt, especially in the context of a major depression.
