I have posted a few times but mainly have been reading. H left 6 months ago after our marriage became somewhat complacent. From the day he moved out he remained very much a part of my life and our two boys age 10 and 16. I was of the belief he was having an EA and PA with a girl from work. He claimed they were just friends. After two months of him saying he wanted to work on marriage and wanted to come home but not making the move, he finally admitted the PA on May 30th. Said he broke it off on June 1, which he did to some extent but didnt make the clean break. After a last resort on my part two weeks ago, we agreed to go our seperate ways. He kept calling me and telling me it all "comes back to me". So the bottom line is he loves me and wants to rebuild the marriage but still has feeling for this OW. He even said to me this weekend that he couldnt see himself with her and her family( she is divorced with two kids he says he doesnt even like). He said if he left me for her he knows that once its out in the open she will start pressuring him to do more things with her and the kids. He even said that in three months or less it will probably be over and he will be left with no one. She is having difficulty dealing with break up emotionally and they work together in a very small office. He told her he was coming home to me, we went to MC yesterday (one we had been seeing for severalmonths before he admitted PA). We decided we want to make it work and he needed to come home to be able to do that. So he came home last night and I wasnt expecting it to be an overwhelming happy day as I know he is still struggling with emotions. But his committment to coming home is huge because he knows there is a lot on the line if he doesnt give it his all. The kids will be devestated if he moves back out again. I am trying to be patient about his feelings for her. He wants to find a new job. And he wants to take a two week vacation the end of July. All positive moves on his part.
So anyone have any advise about being patient. I want so bad to keep asking him if everything is ok but I know that would be pressuring him. The fact he is home and in my bed every night is huge and I need to keep focusing on that. I am thinking that if I keep being positive, strong and give him some emotional space then perhaps the fact the OW is needy and crying etc at work every day will begin to wear on him and he will see her in a different light. Any comments are welcome.
