Quote: Then she wants me to approach him with the following statement: "I've made an appointment to see the mediator next week. Is there any reason why I should not do that?" And then she wants me to shut up and listen to what he has to say. She figures any doubt on my part will be eliminated by the words he utters. If anything it will either solidify my decision to make this break once and for all or it will tear my resolve to pieces. I don't expect the latter.
I dunno, I don't think setting up pop "tests" for people to pass or fail is such a good idea. Better to simply be straightforward - "Look, I'm really ready to move one way or another. If you really want to try at reconciliation, and are willing to put some REAL effort into it, I'll consider it - and it would look like X, Y and Z. But if that's not the case, I plan to move on with my life and will be contacting a mediator next week."
And please - ask yourself very carefully - are you feeling like divorcing because you are positive he will never be man enough for you - or are you simply too scared of being vulnerable and risking getting hurt again if you try? Because if it's the latter, what have you really got to lose by giving him a little more time? It's not really possible to be hurt that much more than you already have been, and if it didn't work out then, you would have the satisfaction of knowing you did everything possible - right now, I fear you'll always wonder, "what if?".
