Friends, Squatters & Lurkers--Fishbowl musings

[Underdog]

PIB, Maya, Little Bill, Nita, HOn, Pen and everyone else...

Thanks for checking in!

Try not to become confused by my reality and assigning a cookie cutter approach to yours. That way, you know your path is absolutely your own and it isn't borrowing trouble from mine.

Maya, your H spends a lot of time doing things with you one on one. Mr. W. didn't do that. I made offers to do things, he turned them down and I got back up and tried again. He did, however, take me up on activities that involved our girls.

Little Bill, your W has one big advantage that I did not... despite our many similarities. YOU are willing to change and commit to healing. So please use this knowledge to your advantage, okay? There is nothing more attractive to a woman (well, this woman) than a man who fights for her.

I've actually used this past week to concentrate on grieving... boy, this has been harder than I thought. But I think I've been able to accomplish a lot AND gain clarity here. Sometimes it makes me sad when Mr. Wonderful calls to chat. But I am getting more comfortable with the notion of being friends by the hour.

Thankfully (and I thank God for this fact often), he is not a jerk. I don't think he could be one for long, even if he tried.

Yesterday, he phoned me at work just as he was leaving for a 3 day fishing trip by himself. He said he was feeling something and asked for a huge favor. I'll admit, I was reluctant to hear this!

He began our chat by telling me how proud he is of me... for taking in 2 little girls who really need me right now so their mother could heal. Well, the single mom had another unfortunate event happen this week. She contracted a horrid infection and was readmitted into the hospital.... where someone broadsided her van and did so much damage she can't send the kids back to daycare or summer camp.

Mr. W. cleared his throat and asked me if I minded if he gave her some money without strings. He said that if I could open my heart and home for these 2 kids, he could help her out financially. And folks, that brought tears to my eyes. The favor was for me to ask her if she would accept his help.

She cried when I did. And I told her with a big grin, "If you don't accept his offer, I will. And I'll spend it on you instead, so you would be wise to accept a gift from a man who is in a position to give you this assistance." She looked back up at me, seeming much younger than her 29 years, and said, "I will."

She commented to me that she feels bad accepting hand outs. I smiled at her and said, "I'll make a deal with you, K. Something that will make you feel better about this. One day, you are going to be in a position to offer assistance to someone else who needs it. Pay us back by being there for them. It's a philosophy that Mr. Wonderful and I both live by."

My girls are lucky to have a good man as a father. And I'm lucky to have him for a friend. We just need to keep that R and let each other heal enough to find the love we both need from other people.

I'm still working on the timing of filing and distributing assets. We have a few medical procedures looming for D7 as well as our foundation golf tournament. And I DON'T want any of this to happen on our anniversary, which is also in September... I don't want any memory of being insensitive and cruel going forward.

Thank you again for all your positive comments and accolades. They mean the world to me!

Betsey